You guys, I just finished a 10 minute workout video from YouTube fitness trainer Cassey Ho on her channel Blogilates. She released a video about a week ago titled, ‘5 Ways to Build your Core & Confidence’ and I have to admit that it was the hardest ab workout I have done.
I am talking about this today because I am the type of person who gains a little bit of weight and just doesn’t like the way that my clothes look on me anymore. Before I continue, please know that I am not body shaming or trying to preach on how we all have to live a certain healthy lifestyle. I am here to talk to you guys like the very honest person I am and a person who has real thoughts and feelings.
Earlier this year my mom sat down and talked to me and pretty much told me that she noticed that I was gaining weight. She told me this right when I was eating some leftover Chinese food from the night before. Hearing her tell me that she has notice weight gain in me, made me lose my appetite for my leftover food. I was speechless. I was hurt. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing from my mom. Despite how shitty I felt inside, my poker face remained while in my mother’s presence. But once I got in my room, I started trying on some clothes in my closet. Unfortunately my mom was right. I did gain some weight. All the clothes that used to make me feel cute and stylish, just didn’t sit right on my body. They were too tight. They wouldn’t zip up. I was heartbroken.
To make my wake up call even more devastating, I snuck into my mom’s room and weighed myself. I’ll never forget it. I weighed 144 pounds.
I remember venting to my boyfriend about this and I’m not going to lie, I told him that I weighed in at 134 pounds because I did not want to hear the words coming out of my mouth that I was only six pounds away from 150 pounds. I am a 5 ft. 2 in. girl who has weighed 120 the most so when I saw that I had gained almost 25 pounds, my heart ached and my mind was just all over the place.
My fitness journey began shortly after my birthday back in January and although I have not stepped back on the scale, I am pleased to say that half the clothes that didn’t fit me a few months ago, are back to fitting me like they used to. I was using my resources such as the gym at my work and even the gym at my school. I was making myself lean meals and drinking lots of water. Any other type of beverage was for Saturday only.
My mom and I have not talked about my weight since, and as much as it really hurt me to hear my own mother tell me that I was gaining weight, it’s what I needed in order to have this healthy change in myself. So that ties me back into the video I mentioned earlier. Starting out Blogilates videos was very hard in the beginning. Even though they were only 5 or 10 minutes, I always found myself getting frustrated and wanting to give up. It seemed like I would take one step forward and two steps back, but if you are too afraid to fail, you will never succeed.
Another thing that I started doing this year is lifting weights. Before I had no upper body strength and was getting tired lifting 3 pound weights, but now I lift 8 pounds. It may not seem like a big difference, but it is a healthy difference for me and my body. My stomach is getting flatter. My arms have gotten firmer. My running has remained steady and great for my heart. But most importantly, my confidence has escalated with the help of living a healthier lifestyle and my fashion endeavor.
I want women of all ages to know that they can find their strength when they hit rock bottom. I want women to know that they can jump back into being a healthier version of themselves whether it is physically, mentally, spiritually or any other way. I want women to not apologize for putting themselves first and wanting to be their own kind of Wonder Woman. If you really want something, you have to begin some type of journey for yourself.
I want to know what your dreams are and what you have done to reach them. And if you haven’t began your journey to your goals, what is holding you back?
Think about what it is you want out of your life and how you can become the best version of yourself.
Build your core. Build your confidence. Stay Stylish.